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Can it be more wrong?

1/27/2019

1 Comment

 
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I agree with all the adjectives I've read and heard in the recent weeks about late-term abortion.  It's horrific, it's sickening, it's sad.  But those are the same words that come to my mind about my abortion.  I chose to abort my baby at six weeks.  Honestly, I wanted to do it sooner.  I wanted to get it over with; clean up this mistake and forget about it.  I had to wait, though, the clinic told me.  I needed to be at least six weeks along, the nice receptionist had told me on the phone.  I didn't ask why at the time but years later I found out.  At six weeks the parts of the baby's body are big enough to distinguish.  All the pieces can be accounted for to ensure the entire baby was removed.  A gut wrenching discovery after I had been told by multiple medical professionals, that my baby was nothing more than a blob of tissue.  But, sadly, I don't believe that information would have changed my mind at the time.  I'm not sure what would have changed my mind at the time.  My young, college self used the blob defense to rationalize that it was okay.  This seemingly quick solution blinded me to the years of sorrow and shame ahead.  

Will women who have a late-term abortion have any more sorrow?  Will their pain be multipled by the number of weeks they carry their child?  Perhaps.  They may be haunted by memories of kicks and floating baby flips in their bellies.  They may remember feeling the baby hiccups that kept them awake at night.  They may be saddled with memories that those of us who "got it over with" do not contend with.  But are they any more wrong?  Any more guilty?  While it may seem worse, uglier, more barbaric, we have both ended lives.  I wish we didn't live in a world where we discussed at what point is acceptable to take a life.  I wish every young pregnant girl had a family that looked at her through the lens of grace.  I wish that every handicapped baby could be born to parents who were mentally, emotionally and financially able to care for him.  I wish we lived in communities where single moms were surrounded by support.  Where people would reach and say, "you don't have to do this alone."  I also wish that everyone who looked upon women who have had abortions with judgement and hatred knew the truly amazing grace of God.  I've read posts declaring that anyone associated with late-term abortions, from politicians to doctors to mothers, will burn in hell.  I'm fully aware that there are folks out there that feel the same way about me.  Some have told me so.  But the same merciful God, who so lovingly forgave me and lifted years of shame from me, can and will do the same for anyone who asks.  There is nothing too big for His forgiveness; an abortion at six weeks, an abortion at nine months or a heart of bitterness and unforgiveness. 


1 Comment
Mel
2/1/2019 06:49:12 pm

Spot on. Killing a baby at any point has the same result. For me the huge difference in circumstances is most often the unseen. Case in point - the sorrowful, repentantant and redeemed heart that learns to focus outward rather than a hard and self centered soul where misery loves company and justification rules all. As believers we so often belittle those we want to “teach” rather than loving each person we come in contact with where they are. As Jesus did. And though it goes completely against all of our instincts, there will be people to great us in heaven who have made what some of us might consider to be some pretty dreadful choices.
I was blessed to have grown up in a home where 1) my parents were together, and 2) they literally sat me down and verbally said, “we will ALWAYS LOVE YOU! There is NOTHING you could ever do that would cause us to stop loving you! Even if I am disappointed or ashamed I will always love you. You can come to me with ANYTHING.”
Fortunately, just as I never had to face a decision regarding pregnancy, there are other life circumstances and decisions that I never faced. Things such as theft to feed my family, war to protect my country and those I love, and even suicide because life is really Really REALLY HARD.
Years ago when I heard that a teacher of mine during my teen years had committed suicide I wept. My soul cried out to God. I heard my furtive cry and his reply in a seemingly audible manner. “God!!! I DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!! Why???!!!” He quietly replied. “ Be thankful that you truly CAN’T understand.” Many times since I have graciously thanked God that I am unable to understand the how and why of how life circumstances have taken an individual to certain extremes.
The honest truth and reality is that I too have done things and thought things that I wish my Creator couldn’t see. Things I wish I had a do-over on. We all do. Unfortunately, at some degree sin is sin. Abortion at an stage is just that. Abortion. The taking of another life either for my convenience, out of regret, fear, or lack of support and resources. You used a perfect adjective to describe late term and during birth abortions - barbaric. Yet in the same paragraph your words describe a hope that the mothers who make these decisions, for whatever reason, do not suffer as much, or heaven forbid, even more than you, haunted by the life they felt and KNEW to be inside of them. That, sweet friend, is redemption. THAT builds up the lonely, hurting, fearful people you come in contact with. YOU! You LOVE with the love of Christ! You want only that which is better than what you have gone through for those willing to listen. And you hold on to HOPE for those who don’t seem to be.
Keep writing and sharing your story!! Continue loving as He loves! As believers loving with the love of Christ does NOT land us in the ever widening gray zone. It may, however lead us to a toe hold in guiding just one individual who is alone and hurting towards a path of unconditional love, genuine forgiveness, and eternal redemption....

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    Carla Edmisten lives in Ladysmith, VA with her family.  She is a social worker, writer and speaker.   Invite Carla to speak at your event, get more information here. 

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